Andy Dick Accused Of Sexual Assault

Tough guy comedian Andy Dick is being sued by two Kentucky men over an alleged sexual assault.  The incident happened in 2010 at a Kentucky comedy club where Dick was performing.  The victims, 36 year old Clyde Foxworthy and 25 year old Hank Burton, claim that they were handcuffed to a couch, covered in Kentucky Fried Chicken oil, and tickled with Kentucky Fried Chicken feathers while being forced to watch gay Kentucky pornography backstage after the show.  They claim that they tried to fight him off, but Dick was too massive and powerful to bring down. 
Dick, who is by no means a talented actor or comedian, claims that the men practically begged for the treatment they recieved.  He believes that the alleged victims are only out for celebrity money and press.

Kentucky

Marky Mark-Even A Bigger Douchebag Than The Public Has Been Lead To Believe

This man could have been a 9/11 hero?  I smell vinegar.  Marky Mark Wahlberg, bad boy lead singer of The Velvet Underground and New Kids On The Block, recently made statements in an interview that had he been on one of those planes on September 11th, 2001 the outcome would have been different.  Marky claims that he would have went Die Hard on those terrorists and saved the day by turning the scene around and making it a bloodbath of terrorist ass.  Wahlberg is no stranger to controversy.  In 1997 while visiting with a group of WWII concentration camp survivors, Marky was quoted as saying, "I can't believe y'all let some dude punk you all like that.  I would never go out that way.  Y'all's weak."

Wahlberg recently made a public statement via twatter apologizing to his ex-fans, families of 9/11 victims, and the real heroes, and admitted that he actually is a red hot water bottle that ususally hangs in some old lady's shower.