Andy Dick Accused Of Sexual Assault

Tough guy comedian Andy Dick is being sued by two Kentucky men over an alleged sexual assault.  The incident happened in 2010 at a Kentucky comedy club where Dick was performing.  The victims, 36 year old Clyde Foxworthy and 25 year old Hank Burton, claim that they were handcuffed to a couch, covered in Kentucky Fried Chicken oil, and tickled with Kentucky Fried Chicken feathers while being forced to watch gay Kentucky pornography backstage after the show.  They claim that they tried to fight him off, but Dick was too massive and powerful to bring down. 
Dick, who is by no means a talented actor or comedian, claims that the men practically begged for the treatment they recieved.  He believes that the alleged victims are only out for celebrity money and press.

Kentucky

Marky Mark-Even A Bigger Douchebag Than The Public Has Been Lead To Believe

This man could have been a 9/11 hero?  I smell vinegar.  Marky Mark Wahlberg, bad boy lead singer of The Velvet Underground and New Kids On The Block, recently made statements in an interview that had he been on one of those planes on September 11th, 2001 the outcome would have been different.  Marky claims that he would have went Die Hard on those terrorists and saved the day by turning the scene around and making it a bloodbath of terrorist ass.  Wahlberg is no stranger to controversy.  In 1997 while visiting with a group of WWII concentration camp survivors, Marky was quoted as saying, "I can't believe y'all let some dude punk you all like that.  I would never go out that way.  Y'all's weak."

Wahlberg recently made a public statement via twatter apologizing to his ex-fans, families of 9/11 victims, and the real heroes, and admitted that he actually is a red hot water bottle that ususally hangs in some old lady's shower.

Rapper Tupac Shakur spotted at bee farm in Nebraska

Rapper Tupac Shakur who was supposedly gunned down in 1997 and his body disposed of in Lake Michigan, was spotted at a bee farm last week in Scottsbluff, Nebraska by a young fan looking to buy honey.  Shakur was friendly and open about his secret life as a bee farmer and claims that he is planning on announcing his new life  to the world through a documentary on bee farmers that is to be released in June.  He has chosen to leave the music business behind and needed some time out of the spotlight to focus on the bee population problem.

Singer/songwriter Tori Amos still alive

After an absence from the public eye for more than 17 years, it was reported yesterday by The Washington Post that singer/songwriter Tori Amos is in fact still among us.  No rumors of her death had yet surfaced, but when the news broke yesterday fans across the globe sighed a sigh of relief.  Amos is currently in the studio planning a comeback for 2017 and has spent the last 17 years working on a documentary that chronicles the struggles of bee farmers in Nebraska.  The documentary hits film festivals in June.

Miley Cyrus is an out of control drug fiend

Pop singer and star of Disney's Herbie Eats Bananas films, Miley Cyrus recently celebrated her 19th birthday by smoking four ounces of marijuana and eating chunks of Bob Marley's flesh that had been cooked in butter prepared with THC.  Cyrus is currently in the recording studio with stoner rapper group Cypress Hill working on  a new cd entitled High Up On Cyrus Hill.

Perry Farrell accused of talking smack about Brazil

According to Rolling Stone Brazil, Jane's Addiction frontman, Perry Farrell, thinks that the people of Brazil are a bunch of "uneducated backwoods hilljacks who have incestuous sex and hate music".  Farrell allegedly went on to say, "They all dress like a bunch of peacocks and dance like clowns to boring Polka-Disco music.  The people that run the music festivals out here don't even know how to plug in a microphone.  I bet they all have 8-track players in their homes."

Farrell insists that the writer of this article took complete liberty with this piece and is trying to make him out to be a Brazil-bashing-bully.  "I never said anything negative about the people of Brazil.  I love the music and the culture here and am deeply hurt over this whole situation.  I publicly challenge the writer of this piece to a duel.  Name the time and place and I'll be there, bitch.  I will fight to the death in honor of Brazil."
The writer of the article, Tom Marins, issued a public apology and declined the challenge of the duel.
Perry Farrell, who claims he is not related to Katy Perry or Refrigerator Perry, is currently in the studio working on a new project with Rob and Fab of Milli Vanilli.

Rihanna's "We Found Love" video banned in France

Rihanna's latest video for her song "We Found Love" has been deemed way too nasty for airing in France.  The video portrays Rihanna smoking cigarettes (the French hate smokers), being spanked, stealing condoms from a gas station, and licking oatmeal off a leather boot.  The last music video to be banned in France was Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al" in 1984.